Look for the Helpers
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Look for the Helpers (Yes, Even Here)
When everything feels out of your control—and cancer is very good at that—one of the most stabilizing things you can do is look for the helpers.
In a clinic, the helpers aren’t always the people in white coats making big decisions. Often, they’re the people quietly making the day survivable.
Two groups that you'll see the most:
- Infusion nurses
- Clinic schedulers
The Infusion Nurses: The Ones Who Sit With You
Infusion nurses are with you in the most vulnerable, repetitive moments of treatment. They see you tired. They see you scared. They see you over it.
They also:
- Control comfort (chairs, blankets, timing)
- Notice patterns in how your body responds
- Advocate for adjustments during infusions
- Remember who struggles with what
When they know you—not just your chart—it changes the energy in the room.
This is where the treats thing comes in.
A small offering—cookies, snacks, something easy to share—isn’t about earning special treatment. It’s about opening a door to connection before needles, meds, and long hours take over.
It says:
“I see you. We’re in this room together.”
And when the room feels more human, everything hurts a little less.
Important note:
You don’t have to do this every time.
You don’t have to do it at all.
And you definitely don’t have to do it yourself.
If it’s helpful, wonderful. If it’s not in your capacity, skip it without guilt.
The Scheduler: The One Who Quietly Holds the Map
If infusion nurses help you get through the day, schedulers help you get through the weeks.
They are the ones who:
- Coordinate appointments
- Catch conflicts (or prevent them)
- Remember preferences and vibes
- Advocate when schedules need adjusting
Schedulers who recognize your name and understand your availability are more likely to smooth things out before stress hits you.
You don’t need to over-share.
You don’t need to be charming.
You just need to be a familiar, respectful presence.
In a system that feels rigid, schedulers are often the most flexible humans in the building.
This Isn’t About Being “Nice.” It’s About Self-Preservation.
Looking for the helpers doesn’t mean forcing positivity or performing gratitude when you’re depleted.
It means noticing who:
- Shows up consistently
- Has the ability to ease small burdens
- Can make the process feel less sharp
And when you have the energy, meeting them halfway with basic humanity.
Sometimes that’s a bag of cookies.
Sometimes it’s remembering a name.
Sometimes it’s just showing up again.
Let Someone Else Help You Do This
If you have people in your life who want to help but don’t know how, this is an easy place to let them step in.
They can:
- Drop off snacks you bring to infusion
- Keep a small “clinic treat stash” stocked
- Sit with you while you make scheduling calls
- Handle logistics so you don’t have to
You’re allowed to receive support and benefit from it socially.
This isn’t medical advice—it’s the wisdom of lived experience and public resources, shared to help you feel less alone in your own journey. Always check with your care team for anything clinical.